This is the article about time. Hello.
todo: upload plate
tl;dr : It's only the time that it is.
Now, you might be asking something like, Time?! What the fuck is the deal with time, man?! ...and my answer is a sneaky existentialist sidestep that owes a lot to Heidegger (whose Being and Time is a cunt-punchingly worthwhile read):
Our existence is embedded in time. Everything will pass and be gone, all events are like sand slipping through your fingers and we can mentally protend towards the future. Our relationship to time is one of the fundamental features of life, but a journalist does not relate to time in the same way that a homeless wino does. We can step outside time (phenomenologically) using things like ketamine, meditation or hypnosis.
Consider also the fact that the apparent rate of time's passing varies according to mood and we begin to see a picture of time as a scaffold of existence that comes in a variety of delicious flavours. Time is constructed by the grids through which we view the world; it is constructed by the brain. As such, it is manipulable by the will.
Board my timeship, merry psychonauts, and we shall journey away from linear time to a mysterious realm named In-Between!
You can experience one mode-of-being-in-relation-to-time by carrying a scrap of paper with you for 2-3 days and writing down everything you do and how long you do it for. Reading back over this and discovering how you're spending all your time will scare the shit out of you and is real fun. After doing this, go to http://www.deathclock.com for a statistical guess at your date of death, then go here to find out how many days you have left to live. Write up this number by your bedside and update it daily. The purpose of these exercizes is obvious. (No one here gets out alive.)
Meditation is the cessation of conceptual thought. The Chinese word for meditation is 'Zen'. The Zen mode-of-being-in-relation-to-time is that experience, by definition, happens in the present. The past is a kind of conceptualization called 'remembering'. The future is a kind of conceptualization called 'expecting'. When we don't conceptualize there is but one moment, whose name is Right Now. Alan Watts calls Zen "a sort of digging the moment, a sort of grooving on the eternal Now". Music causes this mode-of-being-in-relation-to-time. When you're listening to a good piece of music, a sound hits you in the mind and you dig that, then the next note carries you into a new present moment as you dig that. Music is the wave carrying the surfboard of your consciousness along the crest of the Now.
The aim of Zen is to constantly be in this mode-of-being-in-relation-to-time.
The conventional view of time in my culture seems to be as a commodity that is inevitably running out. The present is seen as an infinitely small, insignificant moment determined by the past. This view of time gets you playing an unwinnable game "to fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds worth of distance run". I find more joy in the more phenomenologically accurate view that the present is the single Moment from which past and future emanate. If I am currently thinking of the past, the present is creating the past. Seeing the present as created by the past binds you to the wheel of karma.
Alan Watts said this: "The art of washing dishes is that you only have to wash one at a time. If you're doing it day after day, you have in your mind's eye an enormous stack of filthy dishes that you have washed up in years past and an enormous stack of filthy dishes which you will wash up in years future. But if you bring in your mind to the state of reality which just is - as I have pointed out to you - only Now. This is where we are. There is only Now. You only have to wash one dish! It's the only dish you ever have to wash! This one!"
(Please do not read the following. It's a secret so powerful you don't deserve to know it.) Essential to hypnosis is distorting the subject's sense of time. Say you're in conversational rapport with someone and you say something to fuck with their sense of time, something like, "Science has proven that time is actually a wave that's been functioning in the same way as any other wave functions with troughs in between now as you're processing your experience consciously there are all these invisible moments where you're not and time is not constituted of the whole of it, but also the gaps in between when they're outside time." - your victim will go into a pretty significant depth of trance. You'll notice they blink more and they'll probably go "Uuuuhhh". You can suggest most anything to them in this state. Good for job interviews.
Also, time distortion techniques have uses other than Evil. If you want to heighten the impact of something special, like a magickal ritual, a performance piece or sex, create a suggestion that this will not take place in ordinary time.
Time for a Change by NLP founder Richard Bandler gives instructions on how to manipulate time. 'Time Distortion In Hypnosis' by Milton Erickson is a fascinating book about experiments fiddling with the mind's construxion of time.
How to control time
- "If you knew Time as well as I do, "said the Hatter, "you wouldn't talk about wasting it. It's him."
- "I don't know what you mean," said Alice.
- "Of course you don't," the Hatter said tossing his head contemptuously. "I dare say you never even spoke to Time."
- "Perhaps not," Alice cautiously replied, "but I know I have to beat time when I learn music."
- "Ah, that accounts for it," said the Hatter. "He won't stand beating. Now, if you only kept on good terms with him, he'd do almost anything you liked with the clock. For instance suppose it were 9 o'clock in the morning just time to begin lessons; you'd only have to whisper a hint to Time and round goes the clock in a twinkling.' Half past one, time for dinner!"
- ("I only wish it was," the March Hare said to himself in a whisper.)
- '"That would be grand, certainly," said Alice thoughtfully; "but then--I wouldn't be hungry for it, you know."
- "Not at first perhaps," said the Hatter, "but you could keep it to half past one as long as you liked."
Richard Bandler developed these techniques for doing what the Mad Hatter is talking about:
To speed time up: See the event happening in front of you in slow motion.
Imagine everything else around is going along lickety-split. If you're talking to someone boring, see them in the center of the movie talking really slowly while the rest of the background of the movie all runs around very quickly.
To slow time down: See that event happening in front of you going really fast.
Imagine everything else around you is dragging by at a snail's pace.
He's waiting in the wings,
He speaks of senseless things,
His script is you and me
He flexes like a whore,
Falls wanking to the floor,
His trick is you and me
Goddammit! Why are we such timelords?!