Cosmic stenographer

From The Maze Where Realities Converge - the psychedelic encyclopedia of reality from The Ultimate Comment

The Cosmic Stenographer is an entity which monitors all conversations and actions, past and present and details all occurrences on his Cosmic Typewriter. It provides a valid reason for all sorts of comments, that would otherwise be completely insignificant, as everyone would forget them by the next morning - "This one's for you, Cosmic Stenographer." It's also reassuring that someone's listening, though not if you're suspicious that your parents might read his record.

This could be extrapolated to the idea that it is in fact the cosmic stenographer that gives meaning and consequence to the actions of human beings, and as such would be closely related to the Meaning of Life.

It is theorised that although the Cosmic Stenographer is existing in the present as we know it, seeing as it has been documenting everything since history began (when the Cosmic Stenographer bought a Cosmic Typewriter), that it can observe a wide number of large and small-scale patterns in events and can predict the future. If this is the case, It could probably retire whenever It likes by just recording the future to the point where it can just add a recurring symbol (*) someplace. Maybe It's already retired. Ask It.

In a despicable act of retrotranstemporospectivofuturological plagiarism, Theosophy stole the idea of the cosmic stenographer from The Ultimate Comment, naming it 'the Akashic record'.

See Also

• Metacommentology