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Welcome to The Ultimate Comment - the psychedelic cult getting ever closer to the secret of the universe! Prepare your brain for explosion as we blow your mind with our astonishing mystical revelations. Have a look at our introduction page, browse the articles and pictures in the Maze Where Realities converge and join the forums to be in on the nature of reality.
As you may know, the Life Festival is taking place in Galway this weekend - the 4th, 5th and 6th of July. Following the success of the Rock Candy stall, it would be stupid of us not to represent at the Life Festival, wouldn't it?
We can re-use most of the stuff from the Rock Candy stall, plus our added wisdom and experience. We plan on hiring a generator so we can bring sound and light.
Any operatives or volunteers who'll be at the Life Festival should make themselves known at this thread or contact Conor.
The stall, covered with a veritable cornucopia of cakes, godlike effigies, colourful paintings, toys, lights, leaflets, 'zines, and more more MORE, took off like a rocket. It was the convergent point of the festival, where everyone ended up coming to have the most fun of all, get their faces painted, learn about the gods and secrets of the universe, confess their darkest sins, and even stare blankly into space for 10 hours or more! Pictures are to follow! SECOND IMPOSSIBLE WEEKEND OCCURS
Ultimate Comment holds stall at Rock Candy Festival
Second issue of zine 'Interrobang' released
The Ultimate Comment held a stall at Human Music's Rock Candy in McGruder's yesterday, with cakes, biscuits, toys to give away, lights and artwork. It couldn't have gone better, wihth 100% cake consumption reported. We also gave away copies of the new zine (get your PDF copy here - but please PM or email or post on the forums to get a real copy as there are loads left - also, anyone who requested the first issue by email should be getting one in the post early this week along with the first one).
There were cakes and too many different other kinds of confectionary to name decorated with the Gods, insane lights (kindly provided by our hosts), a UV "Cannon", a glowing skeleton, gods illuminated by LEDs, the Gods in physical form, paintings, face paints, a confession box, glowing orbs and the Cosmic Wand (AKA the device which makes us dance). There was even an invocation of Pan.
MAJOR thanks to Human Music, who are out and out legends for hosting us, to everyone who did any work for the stall, anyone who came to McGruder's and anyone who came up to the stall and ate cake.
There will be a meetingON WEDNESDAY to discuss the final plans for the stall. Also, if you have stuff to send in for the zine, please send it NOW. It will be printed on Friday,
Sooner or later, we're all going to have to tell them. Whether they're going through your house, rummaging through your bag or firing at you with a water cannon, the question will eventually come up: What's the deal with those eight gods?
This is going to be more difficult than telling Polish people. The Poles tend to be understanding and easy-going, whereas the guards tend to ask a lot of questions, accuse you of everything they can imagine and repeat themselves when they think they're on to something. In some cases, offence is the best form of defence. Perhaps we can best rid ourselves of the upcoming problem by approaching the guards ourselves.
Step 1: Tap a garda on the shoulder. Start by asking them questions. A good start is Do you know where I can get high quality narcotics at lo-lo prices? If they start telling you where, you have nothing to worry about. It is possible that you have met a drug dealer instead of a police officer. Negotiate a price for your fix and arrange a meeting point.
Step 2: If you're still sure it's a Garda, you're more than likely in trouble now. However, to avoid being asked who you are, who you're with, where you're from etc. you will want to keep asking them questions. Ask them what's in their bag, or in their hat. Keep asking more questions.
Step 3: You may be in the back of a car now. This could be the right time to give the guards a leaflet explaining the eight gods. You might try drawing them on the back of your seat if you're not cuffed.
Step 4: At the trial, they may try to take away your kids. This will generate lots of publicity, and spark a massive upsurge of awareness among rank-and-file Gardai. Success.
Any volunteers?
Famous encounters of The Ultimate Comment with the cops:
When The Ultimate Comment in co-operation with some others held a public meditation circle in Dundrum Town Centre, they were removed by security guards. However, one of them posted on the website to say he was amused.
Two adherents called Oracle and Monk had a brief encounter one Sunday, but the cops were repelled by magical powers.
Albert Hofmann, the inventor of LSD, has died aged 102. His remarkable account of inventing the chemical and accidentally ingesting it is avilable in the full text of "LSD: My problem child". May he ride magical trumpets for eternity,
How to talk to PEOPLE about THE ULTIMATE COMMENT Introduction Today we lanuch a short series on how you can deal with different people about the Ultimate Comment. We hope to cover different nation, different subcultures, your parents and, of course, yourself, if you wake up and find yourself in a Thomas suit wearing a fez and have no idea why. This is how:
Part one: The Polish There are more than 70,000 Polish people living in Ireland. Everyone who lives in Ireland knows that they are absolute legends. In return for the economic boost that they have given us, we should give them total enlightenment.
Introductory text Krańcowe Stwierdzenie (Ultimate Comment)
Krańcowy Komentarz / Stwierdzenie jest kultem, którego zadaniem jest odkryć Sekret Wszechświata. Przyjmuje się, że jest osiem (8) sekretów. Kiedy te 8 sekretów jest połączone ze sobą wtedy wiemy z czego powstaje Krańcowe Stwierdzenie (bo te 8 sekretów tworzy owy Komentarz / Teze). Jest to oświadczenie opisujące całkowity Wszechświat. Każdy sekret powiązany jest z magicznym dobrem / bóstwem, a ich nazwy to:
Wymiarowy Transfunctiokoner
Kocie Mruknięcie (miow)
Trόjkąt
Święta Łyżeczka
Rzeczywista/Prawdziwa Ryba
Tomasz chodząca głowa
Magiczna trąbka zwana Billem
DXM Anioł
This should be helpful enough. I don't expect any of you to be able to pronounce this, which will make it all the more hilarious as you hand them crude drawings while slurring unpronouncable words,
Stay tuned for Part two: Telling the Gardaí about the Eight Gods,
Tuesday 01 April 2008
second quest completed --- GENERAL MIAOW IS MADE FLESH
The Ultimate Comment grows ever closer to its magical goals as the second holy quest is completed. General Miaow, the cat god, has been brought into physical existence in a secret ritual. He has fused His consciousness with that of a physical host cat, Mouser, to become General Miaowser. The cat is located near Milltown, in Dublin. Above is one of the few pictures that has been revealed to the public, but there are more if you need to see them. As this animal is now a Living God, a Supreme Being made flesh, we expect that he will go on tours and give talks.
Magazine - INTERROBANG - Released The Ultimate Comment has released a free magazine called INTERROBANG. Only 100 copies were made because of lack of funds, but it is brilliant if you manage to get hold of a copy. It features philosophy and conjecture.
We have about 20 copies letting, if you are interested in getting one please post in the forums or email us. Otherwise you can download it at http://www.theultimatecomment.com/files/zine.pdf We are accepting submissions for the second issue.
Before Hallowe'en the DXM ANGEL made an appearance at the Samhain festival organised by Dún Laoighaire Rathdown county Council in Marlay Park. Several representatives of the Ultimate Comment's earthly divisions were there to welcome it, and noticed a few strange reactions from children and parents the the DXM ANGEL's majetic appearance.
Most interestingly, the children had a number of guesses as to what the DXM ANGEL, a magical god of power and light, really is - and here they are:
"Hey look, it's a snowman" "Mommy, a giant fairy" "A bird" "It's a starfish!" "What is that large umbrella?"
One mother who interrogated the Ultimate Comment's representatives made a number of other observations, until eventually she was too disturbed by our representative's answers to continue.
Click here for more pictures of Operation: Spireface! Video to follow shortly Surely the first thing that should come to mind when we consider the current status of the Ultimate Comment project is that the eighth secret has yet to be discovered. Numerous reasons have been posited for this shortcoming; not least of all is the notion that if we were to discover the eighth secret now, it would doom the rest of the project either to the hopeless task of discovering the secret of the universe immediately, or, if it were the case that the secret of the universe should follow immediately the discovery of the last of the initial eight, we would be left red faced with the possibility that we were wrong should that event not occur.
Those accusations are facetious, baseless and fallacious. The truth of the matter is, no matter how ridiculous it may seem, we are right, whatever happens. The outsider who fails to understand the profundity of any of the existing revelations is simply that: one who fails to understand.
But the long and short of it is, if we are not to fail ourselves, we must make an eighth discovery to complement the seven we have achieved, and we must not take forever to do so. One one side of this treacherous valley lies a slow decline, obscurity and ignorance, while on the other lies fame, power and glory. On that side also lies the greatest discovery in the history of the world, and the promise of a golden age.
Luckily for us, this is not a choice. This is the manifest destiny of the Ultimate Comment and all who seek it. We must simply ensure that the insane mysteries are solved while we are still alive.
And thus the Third Prophechy. The first prophecy of 2004, that of a system of eight gods, each with a secret, and a cult who followed them, has come to pass. The second prophecy, the vague revelation that "something is about to happen" beginning in 2005, is ongoing.
The third prophecy, that concerns the future of the Ultimate Comment, and the prophecy that will lead us to the discovery of the eighth secret, will be made manifest on Saturday 29 September, 2007.
introduction
articles
list of gods
media
known secrets
links
Welcome
Wymiarowy Transfunctiokoner
Kocie Mruknięcie (miow)
Trόjkąt
Święta Łyżeczka
Rzeczywista/Prawdziwa Ryba
Tomasz chodząca głowa
Magiczna trąbka zwana Billem
DXM Anioł
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