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General Miaow


A Cat with a Fez General Miaow is one of The eight gods, and sometimes the second to be drawn when all eight are. General Miaow's secret is "Impossible things keep happening". His scripture is The Miaowndukya Upanishad

General Miaow was the first of the 8 gods to be revealed, and is best known for being a cat with a fez, with military authority, presumably exceeding that of other cats. It's been long "joked" that he will lead all the cats to a revolution, that they may regain the supremacy over humanity that they had in Egypt. He's diabolically clever, crafty and playful, though he can be a bit of a bastard sometimes.

He is a War-God, Wisdom-God, Trickster-God and Cat-God rolled into one cute furry package. Like Thoth/Hermes/Mercury/Odin, he rules language, communication, symbolism and skill. Like Exu/Loki/Coyote, he loves pranks, tricks, illusions and smoke-and-mirror marvels. And like Mars/Ares/Horus/Tiw, he'll destroy you utterly if you fuck with him.

General Miaow is also definitely the god of miaowing. It is unclear as to how he will function if, and when, cats are used as a form of currency.

He may have appeared - wearing a different hat, of course - in texts by prophet Dr Seuss. He then said, "Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind", which is awesome advice.

Incarnation

General Miaow instructed his loyal servants to invoke him into a physical cat so that he could walk among us in this dimension. This terrible and wondrous deed was performed on the 30th of March 2008. General Miaow now has the permanent use of at least one physical cat-form. This holy cat is kept at a secret location in Dublin. It behaves kinda like the Dalai Lama.

General Miaow seems to have infected the brains of Internet comic book writers:

This one is about a "homicidal lesbian terrorist", whose sidekick is a cat with a fez named 'Chicken'

And here is a cat with a fez starting a cult. If you think that's just a meaningless coincidence, you're a simpleton.

See Also

Example of some people worshipping General Miaow without realising it. General Miaow in America's Finest News Source

Category:The Eight Gods